There are times in my life that I just don't understand what's going on around me. Does anybody else ever feel this way?????
I am one of those people, for reasons unbeknownst to me, have to constantly keep busy...except when I'm actually at work (haha)...
I lived my life as a couch potato. Just the way it was back then. I would play outside, but at 6 o'clock, it was tv dinners in front of the tv, with tv trays. The 70's man, you gotta love it...peace! but, that's the way it was back then. Emphasis was never put on activities, being active, going outside...just stay out of mom's way... whether that meant TV or otherwise.
Well, I'm a mom now. I didn't really ever want to be a mom... but I wouldn't change it. But, and come on...we all feel this ... sometimes you just want to give them back. I am constantly asked why I didn't have another one. Or... egads! when I'll have another. Hello!!! I'm 41..are you f'ing crazy??? No way, would I ever be able to have another. I love my daughter. For the most part (and like 99%) she's an awesome kid. Funny, friendly, very very smart...but, man - can she push my buttons. That's what 6 1/2 year olds are supposed to do, right???
I have made some decisions down the road that I don't want to be one of those parents that live for their children, bussing them to soccer practices, games, gymnastics, dance class....whatever parents these days are scheduling their children in so they just don't have to deal. So... I deal the best I can, and sometimes, I get a little pissy, alright? My daughter is engaged in our activities, skiing, dog stuff, search stuff.... hiking, being outdoors... I really don't see anything wrong with that. Why do I need to sign her up for an organized sport where people just yell at her for 3 hours a day??
On top of being an office manager in a sole practitioner law firm, of which I have no help at all (more on that later)... I also volunteer as a search and rescue K9 handler... a very rewarding choice. Albeit - a very busy, and often times, frustrating choice. Do you have any idea how crazy dog handlers are?!?!? Like horse people...just nuts. Thank God, I'm not in the AKC show ring...I think I might have committed murder by now.
On top of all that... in my midlife crisis time of my life, I think - I have started running. It started as a way to de-stress from the office (remember, no help) and to try and lose weight. See, I found myself going down a slippery slope of gaining a lb. or two here and there...and not doing anything about it.
Let's actually call that an exercise KICK! I've been doing kettle bell workouts, working out on an elliptical, and recently added an exercise bike.
Doubt anybody will ever read this, but, at least I can get my frustrations out on something other than Facebook.
Enjoy!
Girlfriend, you have WAY too much time on your hands!!!
ReplyDeleteI read it! Look - we're all going through it - I let myself go to crap over all the family problems but made it to the gym finally today - 60 lbs. later with a "fatty liver" from gaining weight(they gave me an ultra sound "just to make sure" - given that my dad had the big liver C), just went through cervical abnormal cell growth/ cancer scare - (changes are from getting old belive it or not)- All these appointments because I wasn't taking care of myself--- No cavities I'm proud to report--- I didn't understand what was going on either and Mike and I feel as if we woke up out of a coma. I used to be an athlete, skinny, pretty but somewhere ion the past 5 years I "lost my mojo" - "people" / "them" make you feel as if you are doing something wrong if you don't follow the "pack" - fact is that they are scared to do it themselves so "your wrong" if you don't want to be the "soccer mom" - Why the hell would you want your daughter to play a sport that she doesn't want to do and you never did? People try to live through their kids and you are "living with" your kid and actually engaging her- THATS what you're supposed to do! The other parents claim to be involved but for the post part they are passive. You can see them on their crackberries or gossiping on the sidelines with their Starbucks coffees - some don't bother to get out of their cars - no joke- (by the way- yes I was a soccer mom but I was engaged because I coached their teams! I was also a karate mom but I was their instructor...) What a boring world it would be if everyone followed like sheep-
ReplyDeleteFYI - I wouldn't worry about you picking up running for stress management- It's better than smoking remember? ..... ;) Love you - you're doing a good job- sounds like you need a weekend away...